4 Reasons Why Your Cat Isn't Affectionate With You - petsitterbank

4 Reasons Why Your Cat Isn’t Affectionate With You


If you are wondering why your cat isn’t affectionate with you, there are several answers to this question that may be able to help you. Though cats generally get a bad reputation for not being as loving as dogs, they are quite affectionate in their way. If you find that your cat isn’t affectionate, there may be a good reason why.

Reasons Why Your Cat Isn’t Affectionate With You

Source: Jackson Galaxy/Youtube

1. They Weren’t Socialized as a Kitten

If your cat isn’t affectionate with you hardly at all, they may not have been socialized as a kitten. Not only do kittens need to socialize with other kittens, but they also need to socialize with people as well. This is very important as it helps them build trust. If your cat wasn’t properly socialized as a kitten, they may be more independent and less inclined to be loving toward you. This may not be a lack of love but rather a lack of bonding.

2. They Distrust You

If your cat isn’t affectionate with you and even seems to draw away from you, they may distrust you or your intentions. This could be the result of past abuse if they are a rescue, or you might have done something to plant that seed of distrust. This could include inappropriately disciplining them, scaring them, or crossing their boundaries. Cats are sensitive creatures and can often carry a grudge if they believe that they were targeted or harmed. If this is the case, you will need to begin the process of winning back their trust.

3. They Are Aloof by Nature

Whether we like it or not, some cats are simply aloof by nature and prefer solitude. If this is the case for your cat, they might naturally prefer their own company and not show much affection. This does not mean that they don’t love you; they are just happy on their own. This is a personality trait that might not be able to be changed. You can try to get them used to more affection, but you also need to accept them for who they are.

4. You Aren’t Reading Their Subtle Signs

Many cat owners may not think that their cat is affectionate with them when in reality they just aren’t reading the signs. Many cats express their emotions in a specific way that humans may not understand. This could include staring at you, a habit that many people find creepy, but is a good sign that your cat loves you. If they sleep around you, sleep with you, or let you pet their belly, these are also good signs. This means that they trust you and know that you care about them.

They may not be eagerly trying to greet you like a dog or get cuddles 24/7, but they do offer love in their way. Before jumping to any concussions, look up some common cat behaviors to see if you’re just not reading your cat’s subtle hints.

How to Get Your Cat to be Affectionate with You

If your cat is showing the obvious signs that they aren’t affectionate towards you for one reason or another, there are a few things that you can do to try to get them to be more outwardly affectionate.

Here are a few tips to help you better connect with your cat. Just keep in mind that cats are sometimes loners and shouldn’t be forced to be loved. Always respect their boundaries, or you might end up causing harm to the bond that you have with them.

Source: Caitlin G/Youtube

Create Cuddle Time

Creating a specific time for cuddles every day is a beautiful way to teach your cat that affection is a good thing. Not only will this teach them what affection is like, but it will also help them to start enjoying it as well. Having cuddle time will allow them to be primarily independent while still being affectionate and loving towards you. This is the life balance that all house cats need to be happy and content.

Respect Their Boundaries

One great way to bond with a cat that isn’t affectionate is to respect their boundaries. This will help them to trust you and understand that you respect them, and it will give them space when they need it. This is a vital part of any human’s relationship with their cat. Cats are independent creatures and need to have their boundaries respected to be happy.

Learn Cat Language

If you want your cat to become more affectionate with you, you should try to learn their language. Cats are very sensitive creatures and communicate with each other with specific kinds of body language. Try to understand some of this body language so that you can show it to your cat. Things like blinking slowly, being gentle in your movements, and more can be great ways of communicating with your cat.

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